A Loss for Words

Jennille having a loss for words? Impossible you say. I know it is amazing to think that I might actually be at a loss for words. More than anything, it is actually a loss of sleep. You might recall the joyous rapture I was feeling a few weeks ago because Breanna was really close to sleeping through the night. Unfortunately, it was a short lived period. She has reverted to her old ways the last few nights. Grrrrr. I just don't have the heart or the will power to argue with her in the niddle of the night when she wakes up wanting to nurse. I also don't want to wake everybody else up, too, but that seems to be inevitable. I just need to do it. Push through. I keep telling myself it is short term sacrifice for long term gain. Sleep. Sanity. Alertness. It just seems like a pipe dream right now. For a long time, I just figured that she would out grow this craziness. Aidan outgrew it at a relatively young age. I'm sure she would out grow it--IF I waited long enough. I can't handle it anymore. Seriously. I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel so guilty about denying her the one thing that would make her happy and go back to sleep. I really don't mind if she nurses before quiet time and before bedtime. It's not the nursing I resent. It's the lack of sleep. It's not like when she was little and I would roll over, nurse her quickly and then both of us would fall back asleep. I just don't get it. I think she's just developed some bad habits. I know I am rambling in my little vent this morning, so I'll sign off. Hopefully, I will right something more meaningful and less rambling and complaining tomorrow. Sleepily yours...Jennille