In Sickness and In Health

I love my husband. He really takes care of me. He has always been a hard worker. When I first met him, he worked two jobs and was finishing his last semester of high school (from which he graduated early). We've obviously never starved--even when work was sparse. These last 3 weeks or so, I have been continually battling with sinus infections and eye infections--and now an ear infection, too. One would get better, then another would start, and get better, then spread...you get the point. It has just been unpleasant. Yesterday, I finally made a doctor's appointment. It just wasn't getting better. I really don't have time to be sick. My sweet man took the afternoon off to drive me to the doctor because he was worried about me getting in a wreck because I was dizzy from my ear infection. Isn't that sweet? I just had to give kudos to Brad in a public forum for his sweetness. I love you, Honey!

In other local news...Aidan lost tooth #2 last night. The tooth fairy came to visit again. Aidan feels rich these days--he has a whole $6 to spend! In my effort to get him to go to sleep (and quit chatting) I told him that the tooth fairy will disappear and not leave his money if he opens his eyes and sees her. He was quiet after that until I went to leave the room when I hear a very concerned voice ask,"Mom, what happens if I ACCIDENTALLY see the tooth fairy? Do I still get my dollar?" At that point, I felt bad for scaring him--even if it was just a little bit--and told him that if he accidentally saw the tooth fairy, we would just try again the next night. He felt better and fell right asleep after that. Kids...

Random Thoughts

I love the randomness of little kids. The other night as I lay down with Breanna for bedtime, she was very still. I thought she was asleep. Then, all of a sudden she turns over and whispers to me,
"Grandma doesn't call my wonderpants wonderpants. She calls them t t." Then she rolled over and went to sleep. Too cute!

Eating Pie

Eating humble pie, that is. (I know this is my second post today. Wowzers. What ever will we do?) So I'm driving around town in Bessie this morning. I didn't realize how vain I was...or more accurately, how vain I am. There is nothing wrong with Bessie (besides a few minor things and a little bit of paint oxidation). Good grief, she's 17 years old! That's pretty old for a little truck, but she still runs pretty well. Anyway, she's going to have to last at least 8 or 9 months, and that's 8 or 9 months that we will have to drive her around town--and be seen driving around town. I want to put some big letters on the window that say, "We're getting debt free. What's your excuse?" Because somehow that would defend my honor and appease my vanity as I drive this old truck around. Ick. I hate that I'm so vain! I saw someone I sort of knew at the store and I didn't want her to see me get into that old truck, but at the same time I'm thinking, "Go ahead. Ask me why I'm driving that old truck." It's not like we live in some posh neighborhood of some big city and everybody else in town drives some nice, paid for, fancy-shmancy car. This is a small town and I would guess that over half the population drives beaters. I honestly don't know who I'm trying to impress. It's craziness, I tell you. Really, it's one of Satan's little helpers that I'm letting bug me, so to that little imp I say, "Back off! You are not aloud to bug me, tempt me, or try to stir up trouble with me, my family, or my finances because Jesus said so." Maybe I should put that sign on my car...

Done & Gone

It's finally over. It is really gone now. We knew it was coming, but it wasn't quite real until last night. Our car is gone. We are once again left with just "Bessie"--our old truck. Why are we so hard headed? I'll never know. We are truly blessed by it being gone, or at least we are blessed by the payment being gone, anyway. Now we have a little bit of breathing room in our budget--not tons, mind you, until we get the rest of our debts paid off. That won't be long now! I can't tell you how excited that makes me. We will owe no man. We can never repay our debt to Christ, but we will be debt free otherwise. I'm sure I will blog about the day the we will call into Dave Ramsey's radio show and scream that ever elusive --but almost there--phrase, "WE'RE DEBT FREE!!!" Maybe we'll have some of you come over and help us. You can consider it practice for when you guys get to do the same thing. I get all forklempt just thinking about it. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you need to go to http://www.daveramsey.com/ and find his show on your local radio station. (If you are local to us then you can listen on 1400 AM Monday-Friday at 1-3 p.m.) Then, listen on Friday. Seriously. It's hard not to get all choked up about it. It really is LIFE CHANGING!!! Yes, Amanda, life changing. When we are debt free, we will be able to help feed the starving children in Africa. I cannot tell you how excited I am. I know I said that before, but wouldn't that be so awesome if we all followed God's laws for handling our money, got debt free and just did some truly amazing things for HIS kingdom? It takes money to do that stuff. So our car is gone. Our debt is being paid off. We are working our way back to where God wants us to be--and it brings such peace. Join us.

Shedding Some Light

I'm sure I've mentioned my really fun book club on here before. If I am mistaken about that though, one of my fun activities that I choose to do is get together with some really great friends, and some other friends that I am just getting to know better, and we all read the same book, bring food to eat, and gab for a couple hours once a month. It's fabulous! There. I've told you about it. Now back to my initial thought thread here...A few months ago the book that was chosen was Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert. While the story itself was fun to read (a writer goes to three completely different countries for several months each to get away from her troubles at home) because I do like to travel--though it hasn't happened as much as we would like--and the people she met were really interesting. However, along her way she was trying to find God--which in and of itself is wonderful. We all need to find God. But what she ends up finding is not God, but something that seems really close to what God sounds like. However, close doesn't cut it when it comes to God. Close will still get you in hell for eternity. So where am I going with the ramble this morning? I'm getting there. I just finished re-reading a book that I haven't read since middle school (needless to say, that's been a while ago). That book is called This Present Darkness by Frank Peretti. A little bit different story line. This one is about the forces of evil trying to take over a small town. I'm not just talking about bad guys, but real evil--demons, satan,... One of the tools they use is this "new spirituality" of a new world order. The interesting part, and the reason I bring up both these books in the same context, is the angle that This Present Darkness is written. It is written from the omnipresent reader perspective. In other words, the reader sees what is happening everywhere--including in the spiritual realm. Very interesting...it is still considered a novel and a fictional one, at that, but the Bible tells us in Ephesians 6: 12New International Version For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. There is stuff going on that we can't see with the naked eye. My point to all of this is that This Present Darkness was a fabulous follow up read to Eat, Pray, Love, in my opinion, because it often paralleled Ms. Gilbert's experiences and maybe shed some light on what was really happening to her. There it is. Now go read This Present Darkeness. Enjoy!

Tummy hurt

Yesterday we had to run to the store for a really quick trip. On the way, this is the conversation I overheard from the backseat...

Aidan: Breanna, when you ask God to come live in your heart he lives right here (motioning to heart).
Me: What, Aidan?
Aidan: I'm NOT talking to you, Mom. I'm talking to Breanna.
Me: Okay...
Aidan: Breanna, when you ask God to come live in your heart he lives right here.
Breanna: I don't want God to live in my heart.
Aidan: Why, Sissy?
Breanna: That would hurt my tummy if God poked into my heart.

This is the point I was trying not to laugh too loudly from the front seat. Just had to share that one. So Breanna doesn't quite get the whole "asking God to come into her heart" thing. We'll just keep working on her.

Bittersweet

Today we lost Brad's grandma. The ironic part is that today was her birthday. How strange is that? We were going to call and wish her happy birthday. We didn't get the chance. I have really struggled with that, personally, because I didn't call either of my grandparents before they were gone. I don't know why it's so hard to tell someone, "I love you! I enjoyed (enter specifics) about being your grandchild." What is that all about? I didn't have a bad relationship with my grandparents. I will admit that I did manage to offend Brad's grandma a few visits ago, though, bless her heart. Me and my big mouth. I don't want to go into that right now, but I will let you know that I did apologize later. Grandma Hicks was a very sweet lady--and a good cook. Even Brad would probably admit that he liked Grandma's cooking a lot better than mine. I just don't want to weigh 500 pounds! :) I will never forget the first time I went back to Arkansas to meet "the family" before Brad and I got married. It was, of course, a big deal to have company coming from Colorado, so Grandma made--and I'm not kidding or exaggerating here--squirrel dumplins. Notice that I didn't say dumpling--it's dumplin'. It's the south down there, y'all! I did manage to try to write down some of Grandma's recipes, but, alas, Grandma cooks like I do...some of this, a spoon of that, a heap of this...you know, until it tastes or looks right! Good times in that house. Maybe someday I'll tell the story of playing charades...but not today. We love you Grandma and miss you already. We look forward to seeing you again.

Shining Star

This week, Aidan has been attending Vacation Bible School. He has loved it! He came home singing songs that they have been practicing all week. Last night was the culmination of all their efforts. It came in the form of a cute little program where all the kids went up on stage to sing their well rehearsed songs. The kindergarteners sang "The Growing Song". At the end of the song and motions, the little cutenesses filed off the stage--except Aidan and Seth (who was waiting for Aidan to go). It was at the end of his singing that he spotted me because I was sitting down from taking pictures. However, he didn't see the rest of the kids leaving--he was too busy waving at his family. So we waved and smiled in return. Then he waved some more and smiled some more. At this point, because everybody else was off the stage, I started pointing sideways for him to look at where he was supposed to be going--so Aidan started mirroring my pointing. Everyone was laughing histerically (myself included)! It was so cute! Then I waved one more time and pointed again. THEN he saw what I was pointing at and continued his trek off stage. So my friend, Jen, who was sitting in front of me turned around to remind me that he was my child. Maybe he does have a little bit of my showoff-ness, after all. He had to get something from me...

Faux Fur & Provision

This may not sound like a big deal, but I was freaking out a little--yes, again--when I noticed yesterday that Aidan doesn't have little boy peach fuzz on his little legs anymore. He actually has little boy hairs on his legs! I know it's all part of growing up. I really DO know that. Why does it all just have to happen at once?

Today Brad got paid.

"Yippee." You are thinking. I know it's not very exciting to you, but I knew this day was coming. It is commit to the get rid of the car or lose the house day. You see, we could no longer fool ourselves into thinking that something would happen for us to miraculously keep the car. We had to start with this paycheck to set money aside for our mortgage payments. Thank God that for once I didn't push things with my husband. When he called me this morning to tell me we had to get rid of it now because he didn't get paid enough (even though it wasn't a bad paycheck), I was okay with it. Really, I was. Seriously. Since we decided that getting rid of it was what we had to do, I was honestly okay with that. So what's the problem you ask? I had to tell my parents--who are co-signed on the loan--that we can't make the payments anymore. Ouch! So when I stopped by some friends' house today and I mentioned something about it (can I say thank you for our small group friends, once again?), his reply was maybe they won't respond like you think they will. Hmmm...so maybe they won't. The Lord provides for us...again. Let me backtrack a little bit. The problem with us selling it outright is that we are upside down on it. What stranger in their right mind would say, " Sure I'll buy the car from you for less than you owe, and, oh sure, it's okay if you keep paying the extra that you owe over that. Just give me the title when you're done paying that." Yeah, right. Fast forward to today. So the choice for us was either turn it over to the bank and therefore trash our credit (which we don't care about anymore) and trash my parents' credit, too (not such a good thing for them). So, without going into too much detail, my parents are buying the car from us. It will be a great car for them. It is a super relief for us. We will actually be able to pay our mortgage and other bills without going into the hole each month! Yeah! Praise God! I really mean that!

Tomorrow I will be sharing with you my little sweetness, Aidan. He was so adorable tonight! More details on that tomorrow.

The Tooth Fairy Lives

She came. She really came. Last Saturday (July 5th) the tooth fairy came to our house for the 1st time to visit my child. I really can't believe it. I won't go into the whole losing childhood thing because Amanda covered it so beautifully and eloquently (like she always does) in her blog on July 5th. Check it out for yourself. I was very excited to catch this whole tooth losing thing on film--not digital film as my digital camera has died, so you'll have to wait for pictures. Daddy got to pop out Aidan's first tooth. Very cool. Aidan is officially titled "the toothless wonder" now. He is running around showing everyone he knows, and if he forgets to bring it up, Mommy will. I know it's not a competition. Other kids have lost their teeth before Aidan. I'm just really proud of him. He really is growing up all of a sudden. I think he's feeling it, too. Yesterday was the 1st day of Vacation Bible School at our church and he told me he was a little nervous to go. He was fine once he got there and saw his friends and his teacher that he knows, but it wasn't instantaneous elation at getting to be there. Kindergarten is rapidly coming, too--just a little over a month--EEKKKKK! I know this is every mother's quandry. I know I seem to be talking about it a lot lately. It will be fine once he gets there. Breanna will adjust to not having Bubba around all day. Mommy will, too. I'm just gonna miss him. Then I will have super guilt at not continuing with homeschooling and I'll want to pull him out of school, just so I can have my cutie pie boy at home with me. I know it's a selfish reason, but I love that munchkin. He is just so cute!!! (Can you hear the anxiousness in my voice???) I am really trying NOT to freak out in front of him. I did already warn him that Mommy WILL cry on the first day of kindergarten--only because I'm proud of him and happy for him, of course, but I will cry. I get forklempt even thinking about it. It will be fun to have one-on-one time with Breanna, though. She gets so silly with me when Aidan is not around. Not that she is all serious when he is here; the silliness is just directed at Aidan when she is playing with him. It will be fun to see that side of her more. And boy does that girl like to shop. Once we get rid of our silly car payment and get all the way out of debt, we are going get a bigger shopping allowance and I am sure that Breanna will have just as much fun as I do taking advantage of it. Once again, I must sign off to go get the kiddos ready for VBS today. Enjoy and having a really blessed day!

Iron sharpens iron

Proverbs 27:17

As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

That's not our verse this week, but I am so thankful for the concept of it. While I'm sure I have mentioned my thankfulness for our small group before, I was again very grateful for our small group this week. It is so cool to have a small group of people that are truly growing in the Lord--and that we can be accountable and vulnerable with. What a special gift from the Lord! I know as a woman it seems to be easier to be vulnerable with someone else, but for a man (ie. Brad) it is very hard to be vulnerable with someone else--especially a group of people. But the Lord has blessed us with just that: a wonderfully caring, sincere, Godly group of people that allows us to be just that: vulnerable as we grow. Webster's dictionary defines vulnerable as being "open to attack, hurt, or injury." When we display our innermost selves to someone else, we can be seriously hurt. That wasn't the case this week. Brad opened himself up this last Sunday to our small group on the issue of his dislike for the memorization of verses. He doesn't want to feel forced into doing something that doesn't have his heart as the key interest. He felt that just because he memorized a verse it wasn't necessarily in his heart--a valid concern. What I felt so great about was everyone's response to his concern. They responded in love and with God's wisdom. What an awesome thing to witness! Brad didn't feel attacked or get defensive. He just listened. Which brings me to the verse I chose to learn this week. It's Proverbs 15:1.

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Everyone responded with gentle, heartfelt words. Thank you for being such wonderful friends! It is so wonderful to be able to go to friends and know that they are listening to and growing with God, so that they will give advice that is from God's word. Amen and thank you God!

P.S. I apologize to Brad if you read this and feel that I have revealed too much. I am just so proud of you for putting your personal feelings out there. I love you!!!

A Loss for Words

Jennille having a loss for words? Impossible you say. I know it is amazing to think that I might actually be at a loss for words. More than anything, it is actually a loss of sleep. You might recall the joyous rapture I was feeling a few weeks ago because Breanna was really close to sleeping through the night. Unfortunately, it was a short lived period. She has reverted to her old ways the last few nights. Grrrrr. I just don't have the heart or the will power to argue with her in the niddle of the night when she wakes up wanting to nurse. I also don't want to wake everybody else up, too, but that seems to be inevitable. I just need to do it. Push through. I keep telling myself it is short term sacrifice for long term gain. Sleep. Sanity. Alertness. It just seems like a pipe dream right now. For a long time, I just figured that she would out grow this craziness. Aidan outgrew it at a relatively young age. I'm sure she would out grow it--IF I waited long enough. I can't handle it anymore. Seriously. I feel like I am losing my mind. I feel so guilty about denying her the one thing that would make her happy and go back to sleep. I really don't mind if she nurses before quiet time and before bedtime. It's not the nursing I resent. It's the lack of sleep. It's not like when she was little and I would roll over, nurse her quickly and then both of us would fall back asleep. I just don't get it. I think she's just developed some bad habits. I know I am rambling in my little vent this morning, so I'll sign off. Hopefully, I will right something more meaningful and less rambling and complaining tomorrow. Sleepily yours...Jennille